My Goals from my 16-yr-old Past

Dear Errolyn, Clara...and all granddaughters who are going to turn 16 soon,

I found my journals from my Young Women's years. There was one for each age to record achievements for our awards. I turned to the back page of my 16-year-old journal and found what I had written under the title: "My hopes and dreams for the FUTURE." I thought you might find it interesting what was important to me back when I was your age.

All my life I had goals that had been planted in my heart and were directed in my patriarchal blessing. Here is what I wrote (minus the 'check', that I have since added.)

"1) I plan to be married in the temple in the beginning...(check)

  2) and have a marriage that will last eternally...(hopefully, check)

  3) I will have as many children as I can or is economically feasible  (check...only change
                                                                             'economically' to 'emotionally/physically')
  4) My husband will be intelligent (more so than me)...(check)

  5) and will love and cherish the gospel as much as I do...(check)

  6) I will have graduated from BYU...(check)

  7) and somehow, some way I will be teaching children...(check)

  8) including my own...(check)


I could die happy now, that all my dreams have come true. Life did not make any of them easy, but because they were important to me then, they served as an important pathway for my life.

If you have not received your Patriarchal Blessing by now, prayerfully consider it soon; you will need it through your high school years to keep you grounded and help make decisions regarding your future. Also, write down your hopes and dreams that are truly important. I say truly important, because I wanted a husband who could dance, but it wasn't important in the long run.

If you have goals, you can always get back to where you need to be even when life and life's mistakes lead you off the Covenant Path. If you have goals, you will always return through repentance and desire.

I love you very much. You come from long line of righteous ancestors. You have the faithful, believing, nurturing blood flowing in your veins. You are truly a daughter of your Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother. You have their spiritual genetic makeup. "Be loyal to the royal within you."

Love,
Grandma Wideman

Words from Elder Jeffrey R. Parker at our stake conference in a letter to Cameron

Just an aside, I have chosen to write and mail letters to Cameron, so he has them to read constantly--not just on P-day on a computer. Here is what I wrote him about today from my notes from stake conference. It was such a spiritual feast, I thought y'all would also like to know what he said.

12/9/2018

Dear Cameron,

What a feast we have had in our stake conference! Our visiting General Authority was newly-called area authority Jeffrey Parker. He was serving as a mission president in Australia before his call, so much of what was said refers and is applicable to missionaries. I will attempt to re-create the messages from his talk on Sat. evening and Sunday that were important to me—I took lots of notes because Grandpa was home sick.

Elder Jeffrey Parker—Saturday Adult Stake Conf. 12-8-18

After assessing the needs of a region of multiple stakes, differing in socio-economic status, here were the stake president’s greatest concerns for their members:

“Apathy, casualness, lack of interest in meeting or hearing the prophet, believing that what the prophet says is like a ‘smorgasbord’ of items that a member can pick and choose what to do.”

When he was a mission president, he would ask the missionaries what their greatest weakness was. He said that quite a few would say, “I’m probably too casual”. He wondered what they meant by that, but soon found out that ‘casualness’ equated to disobedience of the Lord’s commandments. He quoted: “Casualness results in ‘casualties’.”

He talked about the need for URGENCY. President Nelson is on the move. [Just as an aside, he mentioned that Pres. Nelson, 95, had gone up the steps of the Church building and was a little out of breath, then a little later his security guard, 45, came in huffing and puffing. He was nearly half of Pres. Nelson’s age and could not keep up.] The time is hastening towards the 2^nd coming. He quoted Helaman 12: 2…”Yea, then is the time that they do harden their hearts, and do forget the Lord their God, and do trample under their feet the Holy One—yea, and this because of their ease, and their exceedingly great prosperity.”

He cited scriptural incidences where people had been told to do something and they did it with haste and urgency. Examples included David when he was told of Goliath and he RAN to meet his brother’s army, the shepherds heard about the baby Jesus and they came with HASTE to the manger, when the women told the disciples of the empty tomb…Simon RAN to see, etc.

It is time to go. We must do our best in our circumstances, but we must move as quickly as we can. He cited CS Lewis’s story of The Screwtape Letters, where the 1^st demon says we can stop them by telling them there is no God. Then the 2^nd demon said, no, we can stop them by telling them there is no devil. Then the 3^rd one said no, we’ll tell them that there is a god and is a devil, but there is no need to hurry.

Elder Parker said we must hurry. We must have a laser focus on the covenant path. Pres. Nelson has said more about the 2^nd coming than all other prophets combined. “ Behold, I will hasten my work in its time.” Now is the time! Pres. Parker said instead of worrying about how our children are being attacked for hours in school, we need to worry about how we are diligently preparing them to resist and fortifying them in our homes.

He mentioned that the missionaries follow the same pattern as President Nelson when he teaches:

                T—Teach correct doctrine

                T—Testify of the doctrine

                I—Invite, challenge to participate

                P—Promises blessings will result

He gave an example of the above, by using the talk on using the correct name of the church.

                T—It is a commandment of the Lord: “Ye shall call the church in my name. ..

    T and I--The rest of his talk is testifying and inviting all to participate.

                P--"My dear brothers and sisters, I promise you that if we will do our best to restore the correct name of the Lord’s Church, He whose Church this is will pour down His power and blessings upon the heads of the Latter-day Saints,¹⁷ the likes of which we have never seen. We will have the knowledge and power of God to help us take the blessings of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ to every nation, kindred, tongue, and people and to prepare the world for the Second Coming of the Lord."

Another example from Pres. Nelson is the challenge given to the youth in his fireside to them, and his challenge to the women in the Sat. evening conference where he challenged them to read the Book of Mormon before year’s end—highlighting all references to the Savior, to fast from Social Media for 10 days and write down their feelings during that time. The youth were to do that and also have a life assessment. Just as the adults were asked to join in the youth’s challenge, Elder Parker said that all these challenges to the women were meant for the men to do, too!

It is time for exact obedience. Faith is a gift from God based on personal righteousness. The time is not to be ‘casual’, but to ACT, not be acted upon!! And all these things are urgent.

Elder Jeffrey Parker—Sunday Stake Conf. session 12-9-18

What is the difference in the lives of the following true examples????

A.      The Chinese non-members, who had never heard of Christ and joining in droves a month in only a month’s time from hearing about Christ, reading the Book of Mormon, getting the discussions, gaining a personal testimony, joining the Church, then bringing a group of friends to Church to hear what they have heard…with this same process repeating. (Elder Parker was the mission president in Australia before he was called as an Area Authority).

B.      An elder returning from serving a mission and emailing and calling every one of his friends and prospective missionaries telling them that the Church is not true and they should not serve a mission.

C.      Another elder returning from serving a mission and bearing testimony of the truthfulness of the Church, being called to leadership positions and helping other prospective missionaries prepare for a mission.

The difference is CONVERSION!!! Conversion is NOT checking the boxes off of a path that your parents or Church tradition sets out for you. Conversion is NOT attending sacrament meeting weekly. Conversion is NOT partaking the sacrament weekly or even attending the temple frequently. Conversion is NOT a testimony. Conversion IS being consistently true to the gospel of Jesus Christ and having the gospel of Jesus Christ be the controlling influence in your life.

Never forget our purpose. What is the missionary’s purpose? (He read a paragraph which basically was to convert and be converted.) He picked up the home manual, Come Follow Me and opened it to read its purpose…'to bring about a conversion'.

Having the Holy Ghost with you constantly is the instrument and key to enduring conversion. Conversion is an ongoing process. For a conversion to endure, it must be more than a onetime occurrence. In Helaman 4 (read the whole chapter) we read of the people who had at one time been converted, but lost the Spirit. We read that they ceased to follow the commandments, so the Spirit withdrew from them and ceased to reveal to them. An enduring conversion must have obedience to the commandments and our covenants to have the Holy Spirit to be with us.

Elder Parker likened the Parable of the Talents to our having the Holy Spirit with us. If we have the Spirit and do not continue to enlarge and continue our experiences to frequent the experiences where the Holy Spirit will testify, our light will be taken from us. If we continue to seek to have and experience the Holy Spirit, greater revelation will be given to us.

Elder Parker apparently works as an eye surgeon. He compared the microcosm of the tiniest hole in the retina leading to a detached retina, which leads to eventual blindness, and finally complete darkness. And yet, that light can return if a procedure reverses the process. He said the light is like the Holy Spirit and the smallest of things can eventually lead to the loss of the Spirit if it is not corrected.

He said that it is time to set aside the things that don’t matter. Simplify our lives…get rid of the ‘good’ and ‘better’ and only do the ‘BEST’.

I will write the rest of the conference in a different letter.

Love, Grandma Wideman

Temple Worker Again

I used to be a Dallas Temple Excursion worker once a month for about 2 years when I was a Primary President and Mike was home out of a job...babysitting.

Now I am retired and finally healthy enough to work at the Houston Temple full time. My shift is the mid-day shift on Thursdays from 12 to 6 p.m.

When I was interviewed, Brother Childs did not know of my husband or that he was out of work, but somehow he knew about my health, so that was all he asked about prior to my calling.

When I was set apart as a temple worker these are the things I remember.
1. My husband and I would know that path that we should go.
2. My health would improve...and my memory and mental capacity would expand.
3. There would be many times the veil would be very thin, and especially when I read the scriptures, my mind would be enlightened to understand things I have never understood.
4. I would know the direction my life should take, what to do with my time.
5. Whenever I go to and leave the temple, angels will attend me.

If I remember more, I'll add it.

The 'Aha' Moment

I can distinctly remember when I 'really' became a teacher. It was when I was teaching the lesson I was supposed to teach and in explaining something, I found out they didn't know something else. I put aside what was supposed to be taught and took a good 10 minutes to explain what they didn't know. I soon found out that if I answered their questions they WANTED to know WHILE I was teaching what they were SUPPOSED to know, that more and more questions came and they became more engaged in their learning.

Similarly, I distinctly remember when I truly understood 'ministering'. At first, I was a bit taken aback because I really had been 'ministering' to those sisters already...I thought. It felt almost like a step backwards for me to not have to visit them monthly, but I soon looked for and prayed to know their needs. Well, in doing so, I was given my answers by observing other sisters in similar situations. Then it hit me. Why am I LIMITING my ministering to only those I've been assigned, when I can see the same need in other sisters? Eventually, my 'ministering' woke up other sisters to do what I was doing and a true unity began in our ward. We were reaching out to everyone the spirit let us know needed our help.

Similarly, when I was at Weight Watchers, I saw a young mother I had known from my former ward when she was a Young Women. She had a child that was NOT happy having to sit and be quiet at Weight Watchers. So. I saw a need...and I went to the store and filled a huge purse with toys. Toys that would rival any grandmother's purse. Toys that were ages 9 mos. to 3 years. The next week I brought it and her daughter was silent as she kept busy with my toys.

Long story, short, I bring it to my ward now. It was like a pre-nursery in Sunday School and Relief Society today. Four babies all wanting my toys. When I got home, one mother called to know where she could buy some particular toys I had. Uh...the one she wanted most was homemade, so I told her she could have the extra one I made.

I guess both examples are my epiphany-moments that we need to perform outside of the curriculum to meet the needs of students...just as the spirit will prompt us to minister to others, not necessarily confined to our assignments. Once we get past the set boundaries and truly meet needs, then we are as Christ would have us be.

How to Keep Someone (AKA: me) from Monopolizing the Comments in a Church Class

Often, a teacher asks a question and no one raises their hand, so when someone finally raises their hand, they call on that person. That student may not mean to monopolize the class comments, but because they process information faster than others and want to help out the teacher, they always raise their hand and usually the teacher always calls on them.

I am the person who processes information fast. I am the person who wants to help the teacher. I am the person who usually knows an exact answer if the question calls for a single correct answer. I know that I monopolize most classes, but few others raise their hands. I have had a teacher say to the whole class, "Karen, I'm not going to call on you because you talk too much."

Wow. Talk about hurt feelings!

I have had other teachers look right at me and after looking all around the room, rather than call on me, they give the answer themselves because they don't want me to answer again.

Today, I saw a professional teacher, do the correct thing to elicit participation and not hurt my feelings by avoiding calling on me. I thought I'd pass it on to you since you all will be teaching a class some day.

#1 Ask the right kind of question...one where there is no one answer and/or no right or wrong answer. (i.e. What are your thoughts about...? What is an experience you have had about...?)

#2 Give 'wait time'. When you ask the right kind of question tell them you are going to have them wait a minute to think about an answer, then wait a minute. (Initially, my mind races and my hand is up. It is a great answer, so great, no one else gives an answer when they have heard mine. When the teacher waits a minute, other people raise their hands and she/he calls on them first instead of me. I may or may not be able to give my answer, but at least 10 other people got to talk before I did.)

New Year: Re-prioritize

Relief Society was a discussion on priorities and keeping the spirit in our lives and homes. This is such an overdone topic because we talk about it every New Years. I did get one new insight. One lady talked about her time being taken with her children and that took the place of the time she used to spend with her husband. She said that they had to make sure they had husband and wife prayer and husband and wife scripture reading before they went to bed. Mike and I always do that...even when one of us had to stay up later for some reason, we still did that together first. It is something Mike and I have always done, but I want you to know that it kept us renewing the spirit and giving us opportunities to talk before we went to bed. If you have not made that a habit in your home, please do. It is important to you, your marriage, and your family.

Day 2: Remember: Georgie's squat-walk to sneak up on my POC (portable oxygen concentrator). Hopefully I can reproduce it to video and post.

Day 3: Birthday lunch with Maddy at her school. Blessing for Kevin. Poor Linda. Max is gone.

Day 4: Maddy was baptized today. So special. My front seat strap above the car door that I grab when I am fearing the driving, pulled right off the door. I guess I pull on it too much.

Day 5: Sunday. Maddy sang every word of every hymn in church. She read her scriptures during the sacrament. She listened and did nothing else during sacrament meeting. She also fasted. So proud of her. At dinner, Josh was wolfing down the lettuce and said, "I LOVE to eat salad!"

Day 6: Lunch with Kevin and coat shopping. Dinner at the Asian Bistro with Cheryl's family. The kids all  love sushi. I'm impressed with them eating foods from different cultures.

Day 7: Flat tire. Josh to me: "I will always love you.". Eating at Brick Oven with my brother and mom.

Day 8: Home again. Mike got lost in the airport trying to find his Green Restaurant.