How to Keep Someone (AKA: me) from Monopolizing the Comments in a Church Class

Often, a teacher asks a question and no one raises their hand, so when someone finally raises their hand, they call on that person. That student may not mean to monopolize the class comments, but because they process information faster than others and want to help out the teacher, they always raise their hand and usually the teacher always calls on them.

I am the person who processes information fast. I am the person who wants to help the teacher. I am the person who usually knows an exact answer if the question calls for a single correct answer. I know that I monopolize most classes, but few others raise their hands. I have had a teacher say to the whole class, "Karen, I'm not going to call on you because you talk too much."

Wow. Talk about hurt feelings!

I have had other teachers look right at me and after looking all around the room, rather than call on me, they give the answer themselves because they don't want me to answer again.

Today, I saw a professional teacher, do the correct thing to elicit participation and not hurt my feelings by avoiding calling on me. I thought I'd pass it on to you since you all will be teaching a class some day.

#1 Ask the right kind of question...one where there is no one answer and/or no right or wrong answer. (i.e. What are your thoughts about...? What is an experience you have had about...?)

#2 Give 'wait time'. When you ask the right kind of question tell them you are going to have them wait a minute to think about an answer, then wait a minute. (Initially, my mind races and my hand is up. It is a great answer, so great, no one else gives an answer when they have heard mine. When the teacher waits a minute, other people raise their hands and she/he calls on them first instead of me. I may or may not be able to give my answer, but at least 10 other people got to talk before I did.)

New Year: Re-prioritize

Relief Society was a discussion on priorities and keeping the spirit in our lives and homes. This is such an overdone topic because we talk about it every New Years. I did get one new insight. One lady talked about her time being taken with her children and that took the place of the time she used to spend with her husband. She said that they had to make sure they had husband and wife prayer and husband and wife scripture reading before they went to bed. Mike and I always do that...even when one of us had to stay up later for some reason, we still did that together first. It is something Mike and I have always done, but I want you to know that it kept us renewing the spirit and giving us opportunities to talk before we went to bed. If you have not made that a habit in your home, please do. It is important to you, your marriage, and your family.

Day 2: Remember: Georgie's squat-walk to sneak up on my POC (portable oxygen concentrator). Hopefully I can reproduce it to video and post.

Day 3: Birthday lunch with Maddy at her school. Blessing for Kevin. Poor Linda. Max is gone.

Day 4: Maddy was baptized today. So special. My front seat strap above the car door that I grab when I am fearing the driving, pulled right off the door. I guess I pull on it too much.

Day 5: Sunday. Maddy sang every word of every hymn in church. She read her scriptures during the sacrament. She listened and did nothing else during sacrament meeting. She also fasted. So proud of her. At dinner, Josh was wolfing down the lettuce and said, "I LOVE to eat salad!"

Day 6: Lunch with Kevin and coat shopping. Dinner at the Asian Bistro with Cheryl's family. The kids all  love sushi. I'm impressed with them eating foods from different cultures.

Day 7: Flat tire. Josh to me: "I will always love you.". Eating at Brick Oven with my brother and mom.

Day 8: Home again. Mike got lost in the airport trying to find his Green Restaurant.

Day 1 of our Jan. trip...AKA A Comical Adventure

4 a.m. All is going well. I'm packed. One pair of black dress pants and every top will coordinate with it. Since I basically only have sandals to go with pants, that is not going to cut it in freezing weather. But...wahlaah. I found some old black leather lace up tennis shoes, and miracle of miracles. THEY FIT! We are just about to head out to the car and I notice my toe sticking out of the shoe. No black shoes??? I hurriedly trashed them, grabbed a pair of white socks and put on white tennis shoes. I'd have to find black shoes in Utah.

What a relief that there was no ice or snow on the road even though the temperature was in the 20's. We arrived with plenty of time to wait at our gate. The boarding time came and went. We were told that there was a broken plane at our gate so we needed to change gates. We did. Our plane was to depart at 7:45 a.m. and at 8 a.m. our plane had not even taxied to the new gate. Finally, they said we could board and we were all standing in line only to wait. Wait, because the next plane for that gate had been entered in the computer and to do that, the computer person pressed the button to say we had departed. That meant that they couldn't scan our boarding passes. Finally, they let some on without scanning, then they scanned the rest when it was fixed, but they were having to count on the plane because we had boarded 2 different ways. We finally left about 8: 45 a.m.

The flight was fine. I was so tired I just put a blanket over me and tried to sleep. Tap. Tap. Tap. The man behind me was telling me my blanket was in the aisle. Ten minutes later. Tap. Tap. Tap. The man behind me is handing me my pillow that had fallen on the floor. Fifteen minutes later, Tap. Tap. Tap. THE SAME MAN managed to pick up my pillow again! I forget what else I dropped, but he tapped me 4 times.

Linda picked us up and let us borrow her car for the remaining time we were to be in Utah. Thanks.

Well, you know I had to get me some black, close-toed shoes, so Mike and I went to Walmart. Yes. Walmart. Six dollar shoes and they fit. I was riding around on one of those motorized shopping carts and Mike went ahead of me, so I was trying to catch up and swung a little too wide in one row and took out a bunch of plastic tubs, so I overcompensated and swung to the left, knocking over a display that cascaded across another aisle like falling dominoes. Mike came running to my rescue while I mumbled about why we needed to stay together and he mumbled something about women drivers.

After checkout, I zoomed (well--rolled) up to the entrance and Mike said he'd go get the car. I waited. and waited, and waited. I stood up, but couldn't leave my cart because I couldn't carry the case of water.  He never came. I sat back down and thought he had forgot where the car was parked. As time went on,...and on... I had visions of him trucking on home, forgetting that he had left me waiting at the store. Finally....he pulled up. I didn't know what to do because I couldn't carry the water, so I drove out the automatic sliding doors and the cart stopped half in and half out. I kept trying to restart the motor, but it was dead. I tried to physically push and pull the cart one way or the other. No luck. The cold air was coming in and I couldn't move. Mike had to get out of the car, get the water, and physically pick up the 'dead' cart to move it out of the door.

Note: Mike knew exactly where the car had been parked in relation to the Walmart entrance. He went to that place and there was no car. He was alarmed. He knew he had parked there. He went up and down rows trying to beep the remote to find the car. After about 4 rows, it occurred to him that we had gone in the other entrance, so his calculations of the location of the car were in relation to the wrong door. :(

On a sad note: President Monson passed away last night. What an example of compassion, service, and kindness. He also did many things to give missionaries and the youth earlier responsibility.